This time two years ago things weren't looking quite as good. I'd not long since completed the London Marathon which was brilliant but my average pace had seen a gradual decline - due to a combination of injury, weight gain and general runner's fatigue I think. Instead of breezing around our summer 5km loop, if I bothered at all then it would be a slow slog, often cut short in favour of the 1mile version of the route.
This time last year I all but hated running. I'd been stuck in a rut for what seemed like forever. While I did enjoy the group runs I went on, looking back I could barely manage a mile without stopping to walk and solo running just didn't happen.
There are so many times over the last couple of years that I've felt like giving up. When everyone else seems to graciously speed off with ease while I'm stuck feeling like I'm running through mud, never making and progress and having no hope of seeing the little bronze, silver and gold "personal record" medals on Strava again.
But I kept going like I always do, partly out of determination and partly because I couldn't bear the thought of people saying "bless her she couldn't do it". As someone who is not only really stubborn but also worries about what other people will think and say, giving up, whether it be at a race, a training run or at running completely, has never truly been an option. It's just not a Kay Knowles thing to do, no matter how much I would like to!
Six months ago, things started to change. With the DOrunning February Challenge set to run at least a mile on as many days as you could, I set my mind to running every day. It was achievable but would need decidication, so it seemed like a great idea. I'd hoped to see progress but never imagined just how much of a boost it would give me! In pace, in motivation and in enjoyment! It was like I'd found a magic switch and all of a sudden I liked running, I was getting better at it and it felt good.
Today.
For me, the sub 30 5km has always been significant. Right from the start, it's been a goal and my ability to achieve it (or how far away from it I am) has been a marker of how my running is going at that point.
After seeing my 5km times drop over the last few months and settle consistently between 31 and 33 minutes, it's felt so near yet so far for a little while now.
My running is perhaps more consistent than it has ever been. A combination of some great challenges and solidarity runs set by DOrunning, the light nights and nice weather and extra time from having no commutes and none of my normal weekly commitments has meant that I've seen my weekly mileage hit at least 15 almost every week, and often quite a bit more.
I've remembered that I don't need a reason or a running buddy (even though they help!). I can and do enjoy running on my own and without it being planned and part of a schedule.
This afternoon I decided I fancied it. The sun was out, I didn't run too much last week so my legs are nice and fresh and my new headphones arrived at the weekend and I was keen to try them out.
I set off for a blast around the river. By far my most common route. I know it inside out, back to front and inside out so I dodnt need to think about anything other than moving my feet and breathing. And today, each of those came with ease. I quickly settled in to a comfortably uncomfortable pace, enjoying the light breeze while feeling the sunshine on my face.
My watch buzzed to say I'd done one mile in an excellent time. Now I had to hold my nerve. Often, when I do a good first mile during a 5km I panic for the second and slow down so that I don't wear myself out. I told myself that wasn't going to be the case today.
Mile two announced it was done even quicker. I was tired but I had some left. Concentrating on my breathing and trying not to obsessively check my watch too much, I carried on moving my legs as fast as they'd take me.
I got to a point where I knew I was going to do it, it became all about the bonus time now! Willing myself on down the path I've ran on so many times before, two miles turned into three and I just had that final .1 to go. By now I let myself watch the numbers melt away until finally I'd done it! Finally, after more than two and a half years I had ran a continuous 5km in less than 30 minutes. YES!!!!
So that's why this post is all about never giving up. It's about not giving up in the moment, but also not giving up on the long term stuff either. To be honest, I'm not sure if I thought I'd ever get back to where I am now with running, but I know there's no way I'd ever have stopped trying!
So what's next? I think the next milestone for me is the (virtual) Robin Hood Half Marathon at the end of September. It's such an important event for me for so many reasons and I'm in pretty much the best place I've at this point of training for it, so there's no way I'm going to let having no spectators and no medal stop me giving it my all this year!
